Dugout Mom Part 1

We began our T-ball journey this weekend with our first game. Did we win? I have no earthly idea. All I am sayin is they need to rename Dugout Mom...Controller of Insane Midgets. Did I have control? Let's just say no one died or was injured or maimed. And that, my friend, is saying something. But in all honesty. I had a blast, chaos and all.

We were organized with each child's name showing their seating assignment which was equivalent to their batting order. And each player's tub filled and ready to go with their attire...or equipment...or accessories...Whatever the proper terminology is. Middle Twerp found it quite boring in the outfield. And when it was finally his turn to bat, he was having no part of this insane torture we call fun.
I finally had to just throw that helmet on him and say, "Depart from me you worker of iniquity. I know you not. Go forth and play."
He had 5 chances to hit the coach's pitch. Indiana Jones was there instructing. You can see the location of the ball relative to his swing - it is not good. I assume this was the case all 5 times. I was too busy pulling kids from the trash can and opening bottles of water and tucking in shirts and slinging kids off the fence and refereeing games of paper/rock/scissors to notice anything from this point forward. But I do know that once that tee was put up, he swung...And it was...

A HIT! You can see Middle Twerp look to his trusty old dad for what in the world he was suppose to do from this point on...Good old dad was as clear as he could be. And he made it to first safe and sound with his momma screaming like a mad woman in the dugout. This is my roll. I embrace it.
After tying more shoes, drying more eyes, and telling most of them to suck it up and walk it off, I looked up to see Middle Twerp had made it to THIRD. Who knows if this was legal or not. We celebrate all corrupt acts toward winning. And good old dad was there at home ensuring proper placement of footing to equal a run. Just look at the confidence after his first score. Please hold all autographs until after the game!

The team took time to review their game plan for next time, while the dugout mom took some Valium chased down with a shot of whisky. Here's lookin at you kid.