Sunday, December 28, 2008

Second Annual Cranberry Eating Contest: The Revenge of CG

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house these creatures were stirring to begin our Annual Cranberry Eating Contest. And let me tell you, Eldest Twerp was all excited to remind EVERYONE who the returning champion was. You can read all about last year's cranberry eating contest HERE. But I wouldn't cause it is stupid. And I did not win. Amen.

But on Christmas Eve we gathered the little spawn around and told them the true meaning of Christmas -- competition. I kid. I kid. Kinda. We told them about the reason for the season and how we were going to partake in a tradition that had no symbolism or meaning, but it was fun and competitive. Cause we are random like that and all.

But we laid the rules down: One cranberry per round...MUST SMILE THROUGH THE ENTIRE consumption. No retries, retakes, second chances.....Period.

Anyhoo, we started this year off with the reigning champion....ET
And she passed through the first round with flying colors.Others did not fair so well. Indiana Jones went out in the first round....whuss. Then off the g-pa. The farm man himself. With jaws of steel. And a poker face....
Uhm, okay....Maybe not. I love you and all, but take a set buddy.
Okay Nana...You are up.
That is what I thought. If ya can't run with the big dogs.....
Baby Twerp?
Come show us what you are made of.
Pretty good.....hmmmm
Oh -- this pic does not accurate depict it...but that cranberry took flight across the room. You are O-U-T!
Look at this sweet angel. Take it Middle Twerp.
Uhm...come on. Hang in there. Okay, you can't handle the tartness.
Please forgive his taste buds. For they know not what they do.
I have been in the corner stretching out....
I was prepared....stoked. Ready? Okay. All set? You bet!
So it was down to me and ET. Mother and daughter. Friend or foe? NO MERCY!

Although I only took this one pic, it was cause I almost peed my pants. ET had a game plan to swallow without chewing. And let me just say, it was not a good game plan. Not at all.
And she was DOWN for the count.
So it was all int he hands of little ol me. I let ET pick out my cranberry -- the breakfast of champions. She was all devious and chose this half rotten one.

Silly silly girl. Nothing can stop the pure determination and jaws of steel of Country Girl. Step away from this glory before you get burned. Cause I AM ON FIRE.
Just look at this.
All smiles.
Tartness Schmartness
Oh Lordy Be. I was dying here. But I'll be darned if that Twerp was gonna beat me at arm wrestling AND the Cranberry Contest.
But I did it. And I am all humble and all.
So I did not celebrate or anything. I just meekly took my title and sat quietly.
Cause that is how I am...meek and mild. Just call me Humble Schmumble.
Then some smack started goin round bout arm wrestlin. I will spare humiliation for SOMEONE, but I think her face tells it all.

PS I start therapy again Monday. I have a little competitive streak. Amen.


Sarah said...

Too funny! Way to go! To bad for ET, you better watch out next year she'll only get better & have more drive to win.

My kids love craisins but can't do cranberries.

Not sure if you made it the world of coke but it was packed. We were pushed through no time to linger or play. Next time we go I'm doing better planning (not near a holiday). They had fun though & loved everything around it as well.
I hope to have pic's posted by bed tonight. Off to celebrate Gman turning 9.
Oops, just got caught. Come on can't mommy blog today. He said NO.

Kim said...

Hilarious! For something so yummy with a little sugar, cranberries are nasty au natural.

Dana and Daisy said...

It's not how you play the game, it's how gracious a winner you are! Glad you let ET know who was most uhm, gracious winner of them all!

Cynthia said...

Oh my heck! I busted a gut all the way through your post and pictures. I've never heard of such a contest before but it seems like pure hilarity! Glad you won but I suspect ET will plot all year to overthrow you.