Friday, March 6, 2009

I Need Advice

I always try to be respective of my children's feeling, pride, and privacy so I never post too much on this blog. Nope. Not me. I always have the utmost respect for them. So, I never post pics like this...
And never would I DARE run the risk of damaging their precious ego by posting this....
Or crazy pics like this that might have life altering affects.
Nope. Not me. I am always cognisant of their fragile feelings. So, I respect their moments of privacy.
A little.
But drastic times call for drastic measures. And this momma needs advice. And normally, I would turn to my friends next door or my bff at church or my t-ball bud. But I have none. You are all my sole source of companionship. Please don't judge me.
But I have a bed wetter. And I will not disclose which of my twerps it may be. See? I am practically Mother of the Year.
But I will say this:
  1. It is a nightly occurrence
  2. We stop all liquid intake at 6:30
  3. We wake him (or her) up at 11:00 and take potty
  4. He (or she) goes
  5. At 4 am ish he (or she) pees in bed
  6. I have made him (or her) wake up and clean it up
  7. This makes no difference
  8. I have taken him (or her) to the pediatrician
  9. They said but pull-ups in him (or her)
  10. IJ said no way, Jose
  11. He feels this will "encourage" it
  12. I am tired
  13. I am frustrated
  14. I smell like urine

Okay, I was kidding on that last one. But seriously, I need advice. Is there anyone out there that has had success? I need you. I call forth to you from the exhausted bellows of my soul. Please save me.

Wet and Wild,


Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

I went through this with my oldest son and we tried the pull up, the pills, and everything you have tried but they only thing that worked was....TIME!

He finally out grew it on his own when he was 8!

I know this is not much help but thats all I have :)

danraymac said...

i have no idea how i ended up on your site, but i too have a bed wetter. here it goes:

my pediatrician said it is no big deal until they are over the age of 5 (i know, i didn't buy it either) after age 5 their is some type of medication that can help

i take my boy later in the night, between 12am-1am.

i think ultimately what helps the most is that how deeply he sleeps. i have read that some parents leave lights on so they don't sleep as deeply. i think that is cruel. if he is still young enough see if he/she will take a nap. if they take the nap then the sleep at night shouldn't be as deep. at least this has been my experience with it. also keeping a strict bedtime whether you think they are tired or not should help. if they stay up until they are just beyond tired...then they will sleep more deeply.

hope i have given you some ideas. best of luck.

Jaime Mac said...

Ok, I'm gonna reveal a deep, dark secret from my past. I was like one of your twerps & I wet the bed until I was ... ok, I'm not tellin' THAT part. Anywho, my mom tried everything like you're doing & nothing worked. (BTW-she would never let me use an electric blanket because she was afraid I would electricute (sp?) myself! True story!!) I never knew I had to go, I would just wake up soaked in urine. I think the other people are right about time. I read somewhere that some bladders don't mature as quickly & that is what causes it. It was like all of a sudden I just stopped. Good luck...I can speak from experience, this is WAY harder on the twerp than it is on you. It's humiliating!!

Anonymous said...

My son was still wetting the bed at 5. He wore pull ups and i tried to not stress over it (i didn't want a power struggle and i figured he would be over it by college - right?) Anyway, he became interested in camping and all things "roughin' it" and Christmas was fast approaching. My grandparents bought him a very nice adult sleeping bag from LL Bean. iI assumed he would play in it during the day. Naturally, that night he wanted to sleep in it, but i discouraged it because of how hard it would be to launder in the probable instance it was urinated upon, and then he couldn't play in it until it was washed, etc. He insisted, and being Christmas, i gave in. He didn't wet that night. I let him sleep in it the next night because he had not wet the previous night, and so on. Of course, he stopped sleeping in the sleeping bag at some point but has not wet any night since (he's 14 now). I have no idea why, but something about the serious nature of not messing up his big man sleeping bag clicked somewhere in his head.
I guess what i'm saying is hang in there, 'this, too, shall pass'. My mom always put stuff in perspective by saying 'he'll outgrow it by college'.
if they breastfeed too long, who cares - they won't by college. If he wears pull ups now and it helps, who cares - by college he won't wear them.
As long as there is nothing physically wrong with the child, then take steps to make life easier so it's not such a big deal. put a rubber pad and towel down, do pull-ups if the dh allows, etc.
Sorry this is so long, i just hear your desperation and exhaustion. Take care, karen
ps have IJ do laundry and then see what he thinks about pull ups ;-)

Dear Baby said...

I was a bed wetter too. I remeber walking my mom down the stairs with my dirty linnens and telling her that I wet the bed because I didn't feel like getting up. I was so embarassed that I had an accident I thought saying it happened on purpose would be bette. I can still remeber my Moms face as she turned stuned and yelled at me that I needed to use the toilet like everyone else and she wouldn't be cleaning up after me becuase I was lazy! Miscalculation on my part. I flattened myself out against the wall arms out stretched and watched her finish walking down the stairs.
I am agreeing with your other posters that yes, time seems to be the only cure. It was for me unfortunatley. Pull ups are great. No big boy wants his friends to know that he is a bed wetter or a diaper wearer so I believe they carry the same stigma and wont encourage these lapses. I thought it was a funny and poinent suggestion to have daddy do the laundry nightly and see if his opinion changes.

Marchelle said...

I haven't disclosed this information on my blog because of the ridicule and scoffing that I'm bound to endure from my ever-loving family who thinks they know more than the Doctors Sears on how to potty train a boy (or girl) who still wets the bed. So I will tell you this in confidence, (knowing that half my family reads your blog. Hi mom, I love you.)

Here is the deal: The Boy is almost 4. He pees the bed, on average, 5 nights a week.

We have one of those plastic fitted sheets, but obviously we put a real sheet over it, hence the wet bed. I. AM. SICK. AND. TIRED. OF. WASHING. SHEETS. AND. WET. PANTS. AND. UNDERWEAR. EVERY. DAY.

We stop drinks after 7:00 at the latest, I shoot for 6:00-6:30, but on taco night you're a little thirstier.

I make him go before bed (9:00)

I have woke him up once at 1 am. After the wailing and gnashing of teeth that ensued, not to mention *I* had to get up at 1 am!, I ain't doin' that again. I like my sleep better than I dislike washing sheets.

I have threatened to take away toys.

I have given LOADS AND LOADS of extra praise on the mornings that he wakes up dry.

I'm with IJ on the pull-ups...we tried them in the beginning and they ABSOLUTELY encouraged it, but every kid is different.

So really, tiiiii-iiiiii-iiiii-iiime is on your side. Yes it is.

But in the meantime if you figure something out, lemme know. K?

Also? Sorry for hijacking your comments with my own blog post. Love you bye.

Rachel said...

Just so you are not alone, my nearly six year old girl wets the bed almost every night. So did my brother, mother, husband, sister in law, cousins, etc. Time is really the cure all. I don't make a big deal out of it. I do try to wake her up around 5 or so but that does not always work. Oh, and she never wets the bed at anybody else's house. My mom told me that is common and that she's not doing it on purpose.

Jenifer said...

A bladder infection, maybe? That's when my 9 year old wets the bed. That is so frustrating when you have to wash bedding every day! I would have to say to wait it out too. It is frustrating, but hopefully it will pass quickly.

Carrie said...

As the mother of TWO bedwetters...I agree with the people here. TIME will cure all.

My oldest is now 20 and is not a bedwetter any longer. My youngest is turning 13 and is still a bedwetter. Both were bedwetters right from birth.

My oldest stopped at puberty...that is hitting the 2nd now so here's hoping.

I have plastic sheets under the regular sheets, plus over the sheets I also have another bed cover (plastic on the bottom, material on the top). AND she stil wears pull-ups - religiously!!! They don't help all the time - probably depends on liquid intake - but for the most part it is better than having saturated sheets etc.

I do ALOT of laundry...but after the oldest, I learned that it is not something that they can help so there is no point on getting mad at them.

Both of my kids have gone to dr's and specialists and they have not found anything specifically wrong. We also tried the medications with the oldest. They worked for a week at the, to me, not worth the expense.

Dana and Daisy said...

Girl, I got nothin' for you. All mine were house trained when they came here. Though they do not always hit the bowl.

TeamG - News said...

Take it from one who's been there, personally. I slept so soundly that I just didn't wake up to go, so one of my parents had to bear the brunt and at least once a night maybe twice they'd wake me up, lead me to the bathroom, push me in the right direction and make sure I went. They lost some sleep, but it worked and eventually I was waking up on my own to go. That's what worked for me. Good luck!

Treasia said...

I don't have much to add really except that of course the plastic sheets are very nice to keep on hand. you might try an alarm clock for him/her and make them get themselves up at night. Maybe two of them and set different times. Buy some new sheets and tell them that's the big boy/girl bed and see if this works.

I done it myself when little to the point that my mom took me to a urologist and they did some kind of tests and found out my urethra needing stretching. This made me stop wetting the bed, but I had to have this done a few times as I was still growing. You might ask a urologist about this instead of a pedi doc.

J said...

All three of my kids have wet the bed at some point or fact my 7 & 9 year old still do on rare occassion...usually if we have allowed them to have pop with caffeine. Our oldest on the other hand wet the bed. every. single. night. forever. Our family doctor prescribed a pill for him that he took nightly for 2 months, it did help, and after 2 months we weaned him off and he hasn't wet the bed since. The idea was that the pill made him stop needing to urinate at night and trained his bladder to "hold" it. It worked for us, and I don't think pull-ups encourage it, he just is a heavy sleeper and never felt that urge that would prompt you to wake up. If you don't want to try medication or pull-ups, I would definitely eliminate caffeine from his/her diet - it's a diruetic and will make a child that is prone to wetting the bed even more so.

Hang in there, it does get better!

Deb said...

We had the same problem w/ our boy all the way up to age 7. We tried everything!! The allergist told us to take him to an ENT doc and have his tonsils and adenoids looked at. I had begged for 2 yrs previous to this to have his tonsils out cause they were huge and were almost touching. But noone would listen to me. We went to the ENT who looked in his nose for about 1/2 a second and said, "oh yeah they need to come out." The surgery went great and we found out that his adenoids were covering most of the opening at the back of his nose. He didn't snore but he was a mouth breather. After the surgery he had 2 accidents and then the bedwetting was gone and still is. I recommend going to your ENT just to see.

The Kelso-Winter Family said...

beware : long comment coming. first..Pullups will NOT encourage it bec. it's not something that can be controlled . it's not a VOLUNTARY action nor is it laziness on twerp's part. you're doing all the right things. for sure have twerp change own sheets etc., not that that will help it, but it does take some of the burden off you. it WILL get better, but sometimes it takes years.. i had to send my bedwetter with a little pad in his backpack so he could put it on the bed when he went to spend the night with a friend. you are NOT alone! if twerp is willing to wear pullups DO it.. for the sake of sleep and sanity. twerp will eventually outgrow.. but be patient..may take a long time... think of it like a learning disability.. the bladder has to learn xxxooo jkw

Cynthia said...

Sorry, just time will cure it. I lived with that problem with my kids for 12 years. We stopped making the beds -- just a fitted sheet and a blanket into and out of the washer almost every day. Teach them how to help with the laundry.

Peggy said...

When my youngest was little, he wet the bed everytime I put sheets on his bed that had been line dried outside.

An allergy of some kind could play a roll in bed wetting with your child, also.

Jackie said...

I'd say put on the pull-ups. Your twerp doesn't WANT to wet the bed. In fact, I'm sure they wished they didn't. Pull-ups will save you loads and loads of laundry, sleepless nights, and embarrassment for the child.

Dana and Daisy said...

I thought of you today and that you are probably washing sheets.

Marchelle said...

i'm LOLing at Dana and Daisy's comments!

and i just feel the need to clarify my position on pull-ups:
i only say they "absolutely encouraged it" in the boy because the few times that he had them on during the day time he would go in them. i'm a firm believer that when he's wetting the bed at night he doesn't know he's doing it. however, BECAUSE the pullups encouraged him to pee in them rather than the potty while he was awake, we chose not to even use them at all anymore.

the end.

Twyska said...

For us, a Malem bedwetting alarm worked great.
Our son wet every night and we think because he just sleeping so soundly. Once we started using the alarm, we realized he was wetting 2 or 3 times a night and just sleeping in it. Yikes. He was only 4 1/2 and the pediatrician said they don't really do anything till they were closer to 8 or if it bothered them a whole lot. It just was getting hard for us traveling and no laundry etc. It worked great!! They say kids grow out of bedwetting, but I couldn't imagine waiting until he was 8.

Meme said...

I just want to say this post has brought a relief to me that is hard to describe. For years now I have had to carry daily loads of laundry downstairs because one of my children had wet the bed almost nightly. This year I have seen a huge change - it went from nightly to every other night to two times a week and now it is once every other week or so. Praise God. There are still accidents but there seems to be real progress. We tried the pullups but it was TORTURE for the child and me. Plastic bed covers that made the child sweat, etc. I wasn't willing to try meds, praying and hoping it would get better, and it has. I think you just have to wait it out. It seems like forever, but trust this momma, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for posting on this subject!!!