Thursday, March 5, 2009

The New Me

Indiana Jones called the other night and told me to meet him cause he had a surprise for me -- I was thinking ooohhh dinner. Or possibly a movie. Or there is the potential that I am getting a Flip Video Camera. Or shoes. Or cheesecake. Or earrings. Or a tattoo. Any of those things would have been exponential cooler than the fate I was about the endure.But instead he brought me here -- some call it a "fitness center." I refer to it as the eternal torture from the inferno of Hell. Details Schmetails.

But I tried to look on the bright side. I am not a big sweater -- but they did have a dodge ball team -- and trust me, I could totally take them....
And a pool --
And this hip hop happen slide for the summer --
Okay -- things were starting to look up. I mean let's face it, I would not be the girl going to town on the free weights or anything, but there are things I COULD do that would yield some results and get my to that six pack in no time at all. So, I began my workout journey. I don't really think you can see much of a difference from my NORMAL had three kids self, but here I am after my first workout. When I went to pick the kids up from class you could tell they hardly recognized me.
I don't know, I think I look the EXACT same as always.


Lo said...

UGH i think my husband and IJ are in cahoots bc he's doing this sort of 'surprise' to me as well. i start my new 'healthy eating get in shape for summer so i'm not embarrassed to be in a bathing suit' regime. UGH. UGH. where are my girl scout cookies???!!?????

Linda said...

quit your whining you two! I got 50, yes FIFTY POUNDS to lose B4 you'll see me in a swimsuit. Hell B4 you'll see me in anything shorter that capris!

Anonymous said...

I knew I recognized some faces here in hell. Why does it have to be easier to put on the pounds than to take them off?? Hardly seems fair!! And did LO say Girl Scout cookies????? Where are they? Pass the Thin Mints please.

Anonymous said...

I also had to share this with you!!

Dieters Prayer

Lord, my soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.

"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
To rise on Judgment Day, it's plain!
With my present weight, I'll need a crane.

So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,
that my soul may be poly unsaturated

And show me the light, that I may bear witness
to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.
And at oleo margarine I'll never mutter,
for the road to Hell is spread with butter.

And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
and Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
the Devil is in each slice of baloney,

Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
and Lucifer is a lollipop.
Give me this day my daily slice
Cut it thin and toast it twice.

I beg upon my dimpled knees,
deliver me from jujube's.
And when my days of trial are done,
and my war with malted milk is won,
Let me stand with Heavenly throng,
In a shining robe -- size 30 long.
I can do it Lord, if you'll show to me,
the virtues of lettuce and celery.

Teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
And of pasta a la Milanese
and crisp-fried chicken from the South.
Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.


Lesa said...

I'm not sure if it is Lifetime Fitness that you joined, but if it is that place is awesome. With kids it is well worth the money. They have a total blast there and mom and dad get to work out and have fun too.

Dana and Daisy said...

wow! Maybe I should take up ping pong, too!

Hey that first photo... really good in the composition factor! Did you take that? is good!

Ansbaughmom said...

That place looks awesome!! I really dont think you need to workout-looks like an adult chuck e. cheese-minus the pizza and the mouse!!

feather k said...

What??? Where's the info on the SilverSneaker classes????

Jessica said...

I love Lifetime Fitness, so do my kids. They call it the 'fun place'. I think you're going to love, pool, aerobics, cafe...what's not to LOVE??? Let me know how you like it.

Treasia said...

It really looks like a nice place. Lots of things to do besides torture yourself.

I think you changed a whole lot there. NO wonder the kids didn't recognize you.

edie said...

I totally get visions of you with your hair in a scruchie and a hot pink 1980's aerobics outfit. With leg warmers. Groovin' to flash dance. Oh wait, that was both of us in 1985!

The Kelso-Winter Family said...

i am lovin' that pool and the ping pong tables. this looks like a happenin' spot!