Sunday, March 29, 2009

An Opportunity, A Cleanse, And Ask CG

This post will be disjointed and not connected at all. Soooo not like ANY of my other posts. Nope, not at all. Cause I am normally VERY outlined and transition extremely clearly to every new subject. I am making Mexican tonight. And we went to the Aquarium today. My favorite color is pink and I love unicorns. They are to real! Just cause you can't see them doesn't mean they are not real. Look at God. And the wind. But I got three things to get off my chest. And I could do three separate posts, but I barely have the time to do all the posts I gots swirling in this organized, color coded brain of mine. So, I am combining posts. Please still love me.

First, let me say I am gonna have a contest this week. I hate to say contest. It's not really a contest. Hopefully it will be an opportunity for a difference. Cause at the end of the day, what is life all about? Let's all say it together: OTHERS.

Secondly, let me say I was ugly to someone last week that did not deserve ugliness in that way. And has anyone ever had a moment of ugly spew forth and immediately wish they could be kind and rewind? No, of course you all have not. Cause you are the sweetest thangs alive. BUT I am sorry. It is not me to act this way. It was unacceptable. I was able, for the first time in my life, to say the exact thing I wanted to say, at the exact moment I wanted to say it. And of course, afterwards, I felt terrible. I was cruel, and I'm never cruel. And even though I can hardly believe what I said mattered – what if it did? No matter how appauld I am, there is no excuse for my behavior. I have no excuse. I hope it gets from here to there. Amen.

Thirdly, I got some uncovered things somewhere in my mind that someone needs to ask. I am sure there is SOMETHING you all have not asked yet.

So we are gonna have an all new ASK CG.

Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Anyone? {Insert Crickets.}

I am warning you, I lead a very simple life. But maybe you wanna know about it. Like where I spent my sixteen birthday. Or my favorite gum. Or my must have candy. Or my embarrassing secrets. Or how I make hard decisions. Or my favorite sports announcer -- HOLY COW!

OR MAYBE you wanna know things about you -- like advice. Maybe what to to name your baby....or what color lip gloss would be best for you....or what perfume says "come hither" ever so softly....or how to get a girl to swoon.....or how to per-fect the armpit fart - cause I am the bomb dot com at the armpit fart. Please don't judge me.

Anyhooo, my friends of wondrous light and splendor, go forth and ask away -- and I shall answer. Leave a comment below or feel free to email me at

And in the meantime, begin to think about people that we can make a difference for. Cause we will. Amen.


J said...

If you won a million dollars, what would you do with and why?

KinaBolina said...

What are your views on Canada?

I know you love cheese, but is there any circumstance in which you would turn down an offering of cheese? Please describe - hypothetically of course.

Have you ever been mugged? If so, did your mugger end up becoming friends with you?

Multiple Choice or Essay tests?

xoxo KB

Brandy said...

Obviously we all know your kids as ET, MT, and BT. And obviously you are pretty used to calling them that when you write. Do you ever accidentally call them that in real life?

*J said...

Favorite sports announcer?

Pony Girl said...

I could never armpit fart. Or whistle with my fingers. :(
I guess I've come to terms with these things. Hope you had a good weekend!

ptamom3 said...

Discipline tactics please??

Did you ever think of modeling?

Any more twerps on the horizon?

Will BT learn to swim this season? I know you must be hoping!

zena said...

I'm de-lurking myself for this. Love your site. Here's my question: How do you get your hair so bouncy and Cosmo-girlish? We (seem) to have the same length and texture, but my hair will go flat and curless about half and hour after fixing it.

And I can armpit fart like no one's business. Just don't tell my three little boys, or they'd expect me to do it every