Change In Thanksgiving Plans Due to Pus and Savages

By Wednesday, our bags were packed and we were ready to head to the land that flows with milk and honey. The land of family and familiarity. The Promised Land -- aka Indiana. But the breaks were pumped and it all came to a screeching halt. My spawn were a sneezing and snorting and coughing and whining so I thought (being the good mother I am) I would run all three twerps into the pediatrician and load up on antibiotics -- just in case some bubonic plague decided to infiltrated their immune systems and all. I am overly cautious like that.


Anyhoo -- after an hour in the doctor's office -- we walked out with THREE positive strep throat tests and 2 identified pusy ear infections. Nothing like the spirit of thanksgiving. Amen.

And we were ordered to STAY AT HOME. So the Center for Disease Control could be called off in the assurance we were all quarantined. Therefore, the Thanksgiving trip was canceled. And this chick was gonna have to cook.

My spawn weepthed.But the turkey was not only edible.....It was GOOD.Finger lickin...Yummyola.These photos are straight out of the camera shots. No photoshopping. They really are savages.

But I am thankful for my healthy little savages. Amen.

Help Me Paparazii

I can't make a decision to save my life. I really can't. Well maybe occasionally, but not consistently. And let's face it -- who wants to hang with someone who can't make a decision. That is why I cling to you my benevolent blog friends. So you can make all my decisions and then I can go act like I am confident and know what I am doing. Yes, that's me -- it's all smoke and mirrors, but a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

Please don't judge me.

Anyhoo -- it's that time of year again -- Christmas card time. And usually we do a photo of the Twerps, but this year I thought I might do one of the whole family. Since I just had my roots done and all. Why waste the roots? Power to the roots? If loving roots is wrong, I don't wanna be right. Sorry -- I digress.

Back to the family. I have a few photos below. I can't decide which one IF ANY to use on the annual Country Girl Family Christmas Card.

So I need you. My beloved decision makers. The heartbeat of my life. The ones who lead, guide and direct me. Go forth and direct. Pour Fa Vore.

#1 -- It is 4 degrees below zero and I told my spawn I would buy them ice cream if they would smile. Looking back, this was not the best bribe. I should have gone with hot cocoa, but it is hard to think when hypothermia is setting in. You can tell by Baby Twerp's face he was a little disappointed in my bribing selection. He is such a hard one.
#2 - Exact same photo just close up, I am a master of illusions like that and all

#3 -- I had just finished eating 8 kinds of ice cream -- You can already see it in my face, it's the first place I gain weight. Along with my thighs and belly and chicken wings. And my buttocks. But I think, fat is the new black.

#4 -- I was laughing. Out loud. Which I do often. And I laugh really loud. And people look -- cause they think something REALLY funny MUST have just happened, but in my mind -- it is all really funny. And I also count it as my ab workout. I am all about multitasking.

#5 -- I don't like this photo. Cause I have a pony tail. And pony tails remind me of Melissa in junior high who always wore a horse tee shirt with beads and she stole my white castle hamburger one day at lunch. My therapist and I are still working on this one.

So what do you think? Go with one of these or take a new one? These are the things that keep me awake at night. Christmas Photo selection and too much wine. But why go airing out all my dirty laundry right here in public and all, right? It's a crying shame!

So go ahead and vote in the comments and if you email me your address I will mail you one. And you can use it for dart practice or giggles at roots or for paper in your bunny cage or for fire starter on Christmas morning.

I love you all -- please help me in this world crisis THANKS!

Love,
Country Girl

What a Difference A Year Can Make In My Life

Eldest Twerp turned 12. TWELVE. One and then Two and then Three...and now TWELVE. When I see that, I see six more years. Six more years of influence, of motherhood, of control, of nesting. Oh heaven help me. I am getting verklempt. I must move on....

Anyhoo -- ET had her best friend (and across the street neighbor) come over to help make her strawberry soda pop cake. It's her fave and what she wanted for her b-day. OF COURSE, she had a little help from Middle Twerp as well.

The entire night -- ET never made it about her --It wasn't HER cake it was THEIRS. IT wasn't HER night -- it was all of theirs. She shared her gifts....And the sweetest thing ever is she wanted to go bowling early in the night so the boys could go to. Really -- how many 12 year olds WANT to take their little brothers with them on their birthday party? She makes my heart sing.I think she needed them there to help with their dancing skills. Heaven help me. I did the electric slide -- boogie woogie woogie. And things were woogin on me that didn't woogie 20 years ago.

But this child -- I am tellin you -- Dirty Dancin. Patrick Swayze. I'm just sayin -- Patrick Swayze.

But throughout the night I saw a girl who was less concerned with herself and more concerned with what life is really all about --

Others.

And I could not be prouder.

Crow's Feet Have Inhabited My Face

This is me. Last year. Young. Flawless. The epitome of youthfulness. Crow's Feet undetectable. {sigh}

This was me before red eye flights and travel -- which have added a few fine lines. But nothing. NOTHING compared to what happened to me this weekend.

Nothing compared to the affects of 12 year old girls singing all the High School Musical Songs at the top of their lungs for 2 hours straight. And my sweet smooth skin did not stand a chance against jazz hands at 7 in the morning or sporadic dancing in the bowling alley. All I am sayin is I might have taught those girls the Electric Slide, but things on me were boogie wooging that didn't 20 years ago.

But the mother of all aging processes - the king of all wrinkles - hit when me when I saw all the girls huddled on the bed -- GAMBLING to Uno. Help me Kenny Rogers!

I will be out of pocket over the next 2 days. I am at a spa being stretched, nipped, and tucked. Okay, not really. But in my dreams I am. I am actually looking for my battery charger so I can down load ET's birthday pics -- so you can join me in my cougar appearances.

For the love of sweet Jesus, I need more people to join my team.

Jump! For Your Love!

The whole family joins in this nightly ritual... We climb as high as we can ...stretch out...and leap into the safety of IJ's arms.

Even BT has joined in the leap of faith. I thought to myself, wow -- let's see if IJ can catch me.

Some ideas are better off not executed.

Call Me Aunt Country Girl: I Hide My Face in Shame

I love these spawn of mine. They bring joy. Restore hope. Refresh purity. Define innocence. Reflect pride. And make me hide my face in shame and call myself their Aunt. Cause when I looked over and saw this...I KNEW what was about ready to happen....

It was like a slow motion movie and I ran and screamed Nooooooo---But alas, it was too late.

Heaven help me. I WANTED GIRLS!!!!

Halloween Was Canceled

This year's Halloween was much anticipated.

And there is always some decision making -- Hill Billy Monster? (AKA His Mother)

Oh Lord --

Heaven's to Betsy!

But alas, we fell back on the safe predictable super heroes. And we attended a little dinner party before the actual trick or treat experience. And I had to pull an executive decision. It was a tough one, but I really was left with no other choice -- cause Middle Twerp must have drank the adult punch due to his nine-kinds-of-crazy behavior. And I mean NINE KINDS OF CRAZY.

So after many warnings, I had to follow through. Trick or Treat was canceled for Middle Twerp.

We came home and passed out candy while Baby and Eldest Twerp went door-to-door. Was it sad? YES Did it break my heart? ABSOLUTELY! Would I do it again? I would have to.

But for every candy bar he gave away, he ate one.

And I had two. Please don't judge me.