Thursday, January 7, 2010

I Am Woman; Hear Me Roar

My inner peace has been disrupted. I have been thrust back into a life of laundry, dishes, and 3 inch heels. Oh how I long for the days of fruity drinks, sand, and bare feet. The beach is my soul's adobe. And I miss her -- like gravy missed mashed taters. Amen.

Anyhoo -- while I was on my Big Pink Fuzzy Heart with Glitter Vaca I was TRYING to rest and relax and do NOTHING -- cause I truly excel at those things. As a matter of fact, I am a master of rest and realization. Call me Master R&R. And Indiana Jones comes walkin my way and RUINS IT ALL.

He simply says, "Bet I can take you in tether ball!" At that point and time it is on like Donkey Kong.
I started off with a little smack talk -- Ya know -- get ready to be demolished, like toe polish. You are going DOWN -- like James Brown. You are gonna loose -- like a kangaroo.

Apparently, this did not phase him.
And soon, I realized I should really stop talking -- cause my smart mouth skillz were WAY BETTER than my tether ball skills.
I truly lack in the athletic ability.
God gave me a double dose of Southern Hick Talk and left out athletic ability.
But soon I realized -- IT IS NOT ME!
NO -- It couldn't be -- it was not my inferior ability to rock the beach in tether ball!

I was not LOSER!
NO -- NOT AT ALL!It was an unfair game. IJ had taken Middle Twerp on HIS team.
The deck was stacked.
The odds unfairly given.
This was not a match -- not at all!
Obviously IJ was intimidated by my sheer brawny strength and stellar athletic ability -- so he lured MT to be on his team. I can see why he was scared. I am quite intimidating.
I am practically a country girl prodigy when it comes to tether ball -- and then not to even mention my bulging muscles -- and sheer will to WIN!
OKAY -- So IJ won. 16 times. But OBVIOUSLY it was do to his own insecurities and fears of having a wife that is soooo much more advanced than he -- Right?


Marchelle said...

"Hey Summer. Wanna play me?"

Goodwife said...

Nothing better than having fun with your peeps! Congrats on a faboo vacation!

Linda said...

I miss you! BTW you look great!

Dana and Daisy said...

I used to be the neighborhood tether ball champ, of course I only played kids who were 2 feet shorter than me, but I was Hot! Smokin! I tell ya! Next time, take me with you and we'll annihilate them!

Kym said...

Cute post, but more importantly - where did you get that cute sweater! Looking for something just like it!

Dreams of a Country Girl said...

Kym -- target -- $9.99

I am a classy high-roller like that and all.