Thursday, January 14, 2010

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

"911. What's Your Emergency?" That is how I am going to start answering the phone when my Spawns' school calls. Cause it is always somthin. I feel like each month I am stockin up on the latest first aid treatment. This month, they musta been runnin a special on stitches. Cause my Twerps got a buy one get one free deal. BOGO! But I was called to school for MT who busted his lip. If you will recall this is the second time we have needed stitches this month - first Baby Twerp, now this one. Child Protective servicesis gonna start knockin on my door. And I will blink my eyes, look all innocent and say "Uhm, THIS paddle? It's for churnin butter. I am a Country Girl and all. Amen." When I picked MY up from school, it was actually all calm -- all fine and dandy -- until I turned at the stoplight and rounded the bend. Now let me let you in on a little secret. Life is good when your children cannot read. Cause when they have a busted lip and blood gushing from their capillaries, and they see this sign? Wails. Gnashing of Teeth. I am tellin ya -- Flailing of Arms. Help me, Hooked on Phonics! "Are we going to the Mer-Gancy Room?"
"Uhm, yes MT. We are going to the Mer Gancy Room."
"Even if I look cute? Then do we have to go?" I am tellin ya, if cute was a crime he would be servin his time. But when the doctors came in and started the shots and needles and stitches, I just couldn't handle it. My Baby! My baby!So I called in the reinforcements. I can't handle pain, or screams, or needles, or non-bedazzled items. But that's another story for another time.Anyhoo -- he's all stitched up and gettin lots of lovin. And I've forwarded all my calls straight to 911. There is a 40.11% chance that's were we will end up anyways.

Have I mentioned I wanted girls? They are Sugar and Spice I say -- SUGAR and SPICE!

10 comments:

Dana and Daisy said...

just think of all the things he is learning though. He is testing the world to tell him exactly how far he can go, and you know as you said below, when you fight with authority, authority always wins and in this case, he learned not to do whatever he did that caused him that busted lip. He'll make a fine man one day!

Linda said...

'If cute were a crime' that kid would be locked up for life! Good grief! LOL!

Treasia Stepp said...

Boy does this bring back memories. Each of my children broke their noses while in kindergarten. Both are also eight years apart. But my son, my son while in kindergarten alone, had stitches twice, bit into a tube of super glue and almost glued his mouth shut, practically cut a toe off as well. Sad to say but it seems boys never grow out of this stage either.

Poor baby I hope he heals soon.

Dusty Devoe said...

I am feelin' his pain! I went off my horse this summer and had my own trip to the emergency room. Had two stitches in my lip too and they hurt like heck for a week. Poor baby!

Dusty Devoe said...

Poor baby! I feel his pain. I made a little trip to the emergency room this summer after going off my horse. Had 2 stitches in the lip and it hurt like heck for a week. Hope the little guy gets better soon!

Brandy said...

This is precisely why I am adamant that if I get boys I will take them to the grocery store in a box marked "free boys!".

=)

Jackie said...

Sugar and spice? Then who was that possessed head-spinning frothing-at-the-mouth 11 yr old girl in my home yesterday? LOL

Busted lips have never been so cute as on your boys.

Scrappy Girl said...

Thank you God for my 3 girls...

Hey, maybe this will spark an interest in medicine and he will grow up to be a doctor!

Oklahoma Granny said...

Poor baby! And as for girls, ummm - not necessarily all sugar and spice but then I think you probably know that. :)

The Cotton Wife said...

Three girls and one boy here... so far, just prone to fits of drama but my oldest daughter has her first basketball game tomorrow. It's an away game - perhaps I should Mapquest the nearest hospital!