Monday, February 1, 2010

An All New Ask CG! Ask and I Shall Tell. Seek and You Shall Find. Knock and I Will Open the Door and We Can Have Some Cupcake Wine.

I like to start my posts to you as if we're already in the middle of a conversation.

I pretend that we're the oldest and dearest friends as opposed to what we actually are, people who don't know each other's names and met on a blog where we all claim we have never been before.

Who shall I meet today, I wonder. I turn on my computer, I wait impatiently as it boots up. I go on line, and my breath catches in my chest until I see two little words: New Mail.

I hear nothing, not even a sound on the streets of New York, just the beat of my own heart. I have mail. From you.

And since I have spilled my guts about almost everything here ... like my fraternity neighbors with goats, and my ghetto house, and my deep desire for balance, and my legal addiction to skinny vanilla lattes... I thought I would just go ahead and tell you the rest. Cause we are friends, right? And you won't tell anyone, right? And I have a decision to make -- actually several. And I don't want to. So I am avoiding. And when I avoid I talk -- a lot. I also talk a lot when I am not avoiding. And when I am awake. And sleeping. But that is about it -- really special circumstance.

Anyhoo ...

I have a sarcastic and self-deprecating sense of humor. And you either get me or you don't. And many more don't than do. But I love to laugh and if we click, we will laugh all day - of you can keep up with where my mind could take us.

I hate to exercise but love Yoga...but I stop when I start to sweat. And I LOVE to dance. I dance every morning while I am getting ready. I am a maniac...maniac on the floor. And I'm dancin like I never danced before.

I have no "home" talents. I cannot sew, quilt, can, knit, or sashay. But I can cook and use duct tape like no body's business.

I am a night owl. My creative juices start flowing around 11 PM. And what beautiful clear juices they are.

I love to write - for me. I have to. It is how I think. Sad, but true. I have kept a daily journal since I was 16....

I have never dieted.

I change my mind 47 times per minute. Wait 48...

I want a job, where I make a difference....And at the end of the day someone is better because of me. If not, then what am I here for?

I love shopping for shoes and sundresses and lip gloss.

I love Mexican food and the hotter the better. Just like my cabana boy...I kid. I kid. Kinda.

I love people. All people. I find them interesting and I ask a MILLION questions. I truly feel like I can relate to anyone. And I learn so much from others. People are my hobby and I have only met one person I truly did not like. There is no one I cannot learn from ... and no one that does not make me grow. Even if a lesson on how NOT to act.

I wish I had a 14 lives to live cause there are so many things I want to do and be.

I have the best parents ever.

I miss having a church desperately but still give religiously to charity. And although I love my church family, I hate religion and churchy people give me the heeby jeebies. I have a minor in religion and use to be in the full time ministry. Church people can be the cruelest. Genuine people can be the best. But at the end of the day...people are people. And I love them for who they are.

Dr. Pepper with lime is my lover.

But Cupcake wine is my hunka hunka burnin love.

I love pecan pie, but I scrape the pecans off the top.

Rhubarb pie is my favorite but I have NEVER found a restaurant that has it. My mammaw makes the best gooseberry pie. She had a bush and would make me one every summer. I have not had gooseberry pie since I was 11. I miss it gooseberry pie, but I think its my mammaw I miss more.

I love investing in the stock market. But IJ makes all the decisions.

I love eating out, but I like the ambiance more than the food. I only eat to survive. But to socialize in a cool joint? Now that is what I live for...

Christmas makes me fall in love all over again.

I want to live in the mountains. In Montana. Are there mountains in Montana? If not I will have to re-evaluate. Geography is not a skill of mine. I also want to live where I can walk out and be on the beach. So I need mountains and beach. And I want it to be 80 degrees all year long. Except it can snow on Christmas Day. That's the only pass I am givin though.

I am more comfortable on a stage in front of 1401 people than in a room one-on-one. I love being the center of attention. But only if I am prepared.

I like to scrape the skillet after pork chops have been fried.

I hate when people make fun of me. And it is so easy to do. I have the most tender heart this side of the Mississippi. And although I KNOW I can be the dumbest girl at the ball, I just want someone to believe in me.

I can make the best queso (HOT) and chili (mom's recipe) and carrot cake (Aunt Betty's recipe) and mac and cheese (Aunt Barbara's recipe) in the world. And don't even get me started on Granma and Auntie persimmon puddin.....

I count on my fingers almost always.

I think in an outline form.

I love music, it can totally transport me. I can be right back at my Middle School dance, my first car ride, the summer I was 17, or when I felt my stomach flip as fell in love.

And I am tellin you more than you could ever wanna know.

So while I am in this overshare mode...and since my inbox is fillin up...lets have an all new and improved


I know...I know...I lost about half of you there. So basically I am writing to an audience of one.

I am warning you RUN RUN as fast as you can. RUN HIDE FLY AWAY.

I know what you are thinking "What can there POSSIBLY be that you do not know about me???"

Oh trust me. There are so many layers honey. So many layers. I am like a wedding cake. Without the little bride and groom figurines on top. But other than that, just like it.

So - either do things that are exponentially funner than asking me a

A) Clean the hairs behind your toilet
B) Get a bikini wax
C) Chop wood
D) Have your BMI taken
D) Ask CG some questions

All of these rank in the same "funness" category.

I will answer all your q's by the end of the week.

Either post me your q's here or email me at

Ask me anything bout me (except my bra size) or I can totally go all Dear Abby on you too if you need advice. Cause I am all into every body's business anyway. And who else should solve your problems other than a silly girl who can't solve her own. Yeah, that is what I am here for.

I LOVE YOU ALL - Remember this week what life is all about - OTHERS.

No go forth and ASK AWAY!


Jaime Mac said...

First -!! Second-here's my question... I remember you refering to the #5 & then shutting it down fairly quickly. Then I saw in the paper a certain someones sibling had twins. Are these things related (no pun intended...)? If this is an in-appropriate question - just delete it & we'll pretend this never happened. And I shall beg for forgiveness... :)

Dana and Daisy said...

how do you keep up with your hectic pace? what vitamins do you take? did you get a new super nanny? How old where you on your first date? When you got your first curling iron? when you started wearing eye shadow? And if your life ended today, what one thing would you wish you had done before it was over?

Also, is Aunt Betty's mac and cheese recipe on here somewhere?

Linda said...

How are you my friend? I'm sending Dr Pepper lipgloss to make you smile and Crazy Glue to help you hold things together. Now for my real question and since you've answered almost every one I could think of so lets make this about others....should I color my hair? snicker:D

Scrappy Girl said...

I remember going to my grandma's house and sitting by the gooseberry bush and eating the ones that had the pinkish tint. A few years ago my grandma surprised with a ziploc baggie filled with good...took me back!

My question is what is your favorite movie of all time?

Jaime Mac said...

Now I have another question. Moving?! Whaaa?! What planet lined up or blew up to make this happen?! And what does this mean for YOUR job?!

Dana and Daisy said...

yeah, what Jaime Mac said second time around.

jill (of snowy cold mn) said...

hi CG --
i didn't run away. i'm commenting instead.
first, since you can cook like nobodys business will you share more recipes? please?! because i love love love your german coffee cake (that will make you yodel). i even made it for a class potluck since we had to bring a food related to our ethnicity. except i didn't grow up on ethnic foods. i grew up on meat and potatoes. and my teacher said that didn't count. so i brought your coffee cake. although i (and my dad) ate a third of it beforehand.
also, my boss makes an amaaaazing rhubarb cream pie. and we serve it. in a restaurant. seriously, it is delicious! she makes all her own pies. so please come to nw minnesota and i will be sure to give you the biggest slice. or maybe the whole pie.
also, what's your advice on hair washing. in the morning or at night? at night you have potential bed-headedness. but in the morning i am too lazy to blow dry AND style.
thank you thank you!
have a beautiful day!
p.s. i LOVE your humor!

theelizabethhighsmith said...

Dear Country Girl,

I once made the grave error of getting a fitting at the local VS, i did it for the free lip gloss, not only should you not ask someone's size you shouldn't tell someone their size. I need therapy. Will you pray for me?

That's not really my question, my question is
do you think ,given enough cupcake wine, scrunchies and crimpers could get a do-over?

That and will you please write a tell all of life in the ministry? Seriously, pray tell?


Hair Bows & Guitar Picks said...

I love Cupcake Wine and music and Mexican food! Wow we could be like BFF's and everything :)

Have a great weekend!

Chris said...

Hey, CG!
I totally get you...umm, I think?
I only have one question but I think it might be a hard one. Do you miss being a stay at home mom? You know, like having all that extra time to get all those things done that don't get done now. Does that night owl miss being able to stay up late?
The reason why I ask because I totally miss being a stay at home mom when I am working but I am so stir crazy when I am a stay at home mom. I can't seem to find a equal balance so I only work from Feb to June for the IRS.

J said...

OH, Gooseberries! That brings back memories for's funny I had just mentioned them to a co-worker this week and she had no idea what I was talking about. :) My great-great aunt had Alzheimers, and my great-great uncle and I had picked a huge bowl full of gooseberries for pies. We left them on the counter and went out to do some yard work and when we came back in my Aunt had "pitted" all of them. SHe thought they were cherries. He was so disgusted. There was only like a cup full of mush left when she was done.

Don't know why I just shared that with you....I guess I feel the same way as you do when you start a post.

I don't really have a question, I think I have gotten all of my questions answered on other editions of "Ask CG"

PS~I love Cupcake wine, too!