Sunday, January 16, 2011

Day Five: Southern Style

Day Five of the Great Southern Snow Storm. And us poor sweet dear Southern Angels had no clue what to do. We were damsels in distress. Swooning and fainting all over the place. Why I do declare - all the grits and sweet tea were sold out. I'm feeling weak just relivin it. It was indeed a state of national emergency. A state of panic. I called my ma. I called my pa. I even called the law....way down in Arkansas. I was desperate. Please understand we were doing all we could do to stay sane and not lose out ever loving minds. One Day One of the Great Southern Snow Storm there were giggles and sledding. We were handling it all in grace and style. Taking photos to scrapbook and send to our Aunt Lucille's on our monogrammed stationary. On Day Two there was hot chocolate and movies. Gone with the Wind. Steel Magnolias. Driving Miss Daisy. and Oklahoma! We start them young and all. On Day Three there were naps and early bedtime. It's good for the youngnis. Keeps their immune system up. They need their dear sweet angel rest. Amen. However on Day Four - oh dear Day Four... there was Benadryl and Xanax. And I don't think any good Yankee could possibly judge us. Amen. But on Day Five... Oh on Day Five. On Day Five the heavens opened forth and dear sweet Baby Jesus decided he would have to part some sanity to us or I was gonna have to tear down the drapes and make a dress. And Lord knew that would not end well. Soooo... Momma decided to have a little fun.
I had had about enough of the kids being pulled all around like they were little prices. I demanded to be treated like to southern princess I was.
And some may say this is a little uncalled for.
To those I have one simple thing to say....Mush! Mush! Why are we going so slow? It must be all this extra weight from MT. Cause Lord knows my waist is the size of a brooms stick.
Even after Five Days of Pancakes and Yoga Pants. (Hypothetically speaking, those yoga pants can be quite deceiving. Burp.) Snap... Crackle.... POP. Uhm, exsqueeze me... did the cord just break?Cheap silly cord.
Cause I swear they just don't make things like they use to.
Except yoga pants. Amen.Anyhoo -- put those spawn of mine into the sled and let's go home IJ!

Momma feels her Cupcake calling.And I think the Twerps feel a nap coming on. And if they don't...It's nothing a little Benadryl and Whiskey can't solve. I kid! I kid! (If you were judgin and all).

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